The Interlude is Over

My wife is home now.

Our home life now.

She had a minor fall on July 21 and spent 4 days in the hospital, then 81 days at what is known as a subacute rehabilitation center. The fall was not really the problem. She had become terribly de-conditioned over several years and by July 20 she was a fall waiting to happen.

When i got up on July 21, I found my wife on the floor, not really hurt but I could not get her up. So we called for an ambulance and they transported her to St Clare’s in Dover.

Monta had been in St. Clare’s before and they did a decent job. But this time the care was lousy and suddenly we were shown the door - told she would be released to a sub-acute rehab center (a nursing home that does a little rehab). We were pressured into accepting the decision, eventually told we could appeal but were a bit flabbergasted.

The nursing home care was ok, but after a few weeks a doctor decided that my wife needed an MRI of her back. All therapy stopped for several weeks while we waited for the test to be done and then reviewed by the doctor. In the meantime my wife got weaker, acquired a UTI and by the time her stay was over, she was little better than when she entered the facility.

These days medical treatment is determined in part by how much the insurer will cover. We have Medicare but the protocols are similar to what goes on with private insurance. For us, the end date was 100 days of in house rehab - maximum. At 81 days it was decided that Monta was no longer improving. No longer benefiting from additional in house rehab she was discharged.

A nursing home is prohibitively expensive so we brought Monta home.

We have hired a certified nursing assistant for a few hours 5 days each week. The jury is out on whether this will work. Monta is bedridden so the daily objectives are hygiene, food and little else. We do have a physical therapist - a great guy. But Monta is not really cooperative, so does none of the exercises she is supposed to do.

I can’t really blame her. She is 3 years plus into a cancer diagnosis, stage 4 primary cancer metastasized to the brain and lungs. Ultimately there is no long term cure. She had 2 course of radiation to her brain - the second course left her a complete invalid.

So we will see how long we can last. All caregivers are stressed out. I know I am.

And for my wife. Well there is little in the way of quality of life.

Getting older includes the acceptance of loss. Most of us lose some physical vigor. We are ok with a less active life - happy to leave the hard work to others. But then there is the sadness as we recall chapters of the our lives that are over.

My wife walking Mickey, Aggie and Ebony. The dogs have all gone to their maker. This chapter of Monta’s life is also over.